The Tapestry of Time

This past week I was studying about our matriarch, Sarah. According to the Talmudic sages, she was perfect – without blemish – in wisdom, beauty, innocence, accomplishment, and consistency. The Hebrew word for perfect is tamim, which has two connotations: without blemish and of complete faith. Both connotations apply to Sarah. Per Rashi (one of the Jewish sages), in his commentary to Genesis 23:1, the Torah chose Sarah to display the standard of “all [her years] were equally good.” Because the Bible chose her as an example that we should follow, how do we become like Sarah, making all of our years equally good?

When reading the Bible, one can see that people, animals, and things can be without blemish. It is most obvious when reading about the requirements for the offerings, the food we are allowed or not allowed to eat, etc. But time can also be without blemish, because time is also a creation of G-d. Time did not exist prior to the creation of the universe. G-d is outside of time, beyond time; but He created time as a tool for man. And this tool is also a challenge for us.

In the first volume of the commentary on Genesis, published as part of the Artscroll Tanach Series, is a beautiful analogy on the challenge of man using his time wisely, in order to make all his years good. The author compared one’s lifetime to a huge needlepoint canvas with trillions of holes to be filled with “threads of achievement.” And each hole is a moment in time.

We all have our own needlepoint canvas, but each is different. At the end of one’s life, what will it look it? That depends on how we filled it during the time we had on this earth. For most, the canvas will have several random patches filled in amongst random blank spaces; there might not even be any pattern to be seen after years of effort. For others, there may be only a few scattered stitches, here and there. For others, there may be portions of recognizable pictures, a result of purposeful time periods in their lives.

But then there are people like Sarah. Her canvas had no blank spots. It was full and complete, a beautiful picture that was a result of her life of meaning and accomplishment. Every thread was related to the one before and after, as every moment of her life was connected one upon another in the mission G-d called her to.

Every moment in time has a particular purpose for each of us, ordained by the Creator. Whether it’s Torah study, performance of a commandment, earning a living, eating, sleeping, resting, traveling, etc., each moment has its purpose. Can the purpose of each moment be postponed to another moment? Can we postpone what G-d means for us to do today, at THIS moment, until tomorrow, at another moment? No, for each moment has its own obligation, its own destiny seeking to be fulfilled. To put off something until tomorrow is to deprive tomorrow of its own fulfillment in our destiny.

Each day is not just a twenty-four hour period, but a time for stitching our canvas with moments of accomplishment. If all we do is cross off the day on our calendar, marking another twenty-four hour period of just existing, all we have done is accumulate another day of unrealized potential. This is the reason why man is so dissatisfied with just working, eating, sleeping day after day after day. Deep within us, G-d has implanted the purpose of why we were born, our true destiny, the picture that is to spread across our canvas as we fill it with the stitches of our accomplishments. If we do not seek G-d for that purpose, then we will spend our lives trying to fill that emptiness of sheer existence with things that not only do not help to create stitches in our canvas, but may actually pull out threads that we’ve already stitched.

But G-d is still the Creator, and He renews His creation daily. There are always new opportunities, new chances for each one of us. Each day He gives us has a role to play in our lives, a purpose in our journey to fulfilling the destiny for which we were born. G-d is also a Redeemer, and He can redeem the time we have lost if we are willing to submit to His hand and determine to make better use of our gifts and our time.

This teaching surely convicted me of how I use my own time and my own gifts. I thought about what my needlepoint canvas looks like right now, and I wondered if I even have any semblance of pictures beginning to form on it. For those of you who know me personally, you know the past several months I have gone through a “dark night of the soul” with the trials that beset my life. I had my time of grieving and trying to cope, but now the shroud of mourning has been lifted from me. It’s time to change the colors of my threads from blacks and grays and somber blues, to reds and greens and yellows. It’s time that I PURPOSEFULLY take account of each moment and listen to the Spirit of G-d, seeking His purpose in all that I do, and not wasting the time that He has given me.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t rest or have times of pure fun – those moments have purpose, too, and are meant to be part of my canvas. I just don’t want to WASTE any more moments, so that when my life is over, I will not have any blank spaces or sections where the picture is unclear. I want my canvas to be like Sarah’s was – a complete picture with every stitch in the right place and of the right color, a testimony to a life well-lived, without blemish and full of faith.

If we do not utilize our moments, our “nows,” properly, they will be lost. I think Rabbi Hillel said it best: “If not now – when?”

Happy stitching!

God Knows Where You Are

The weekend before last, I was in O'Fallon, Illinois, visiting my best friend. Her college graduation was that Saturday, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world! She took us to nearby St. Louis, too, and we had a ball at the Arch and in the City Museum. All in all, it was too short a weekend, and I already miss her dearly.

Before we left for home, we attended service at her church on Mother's Day. I expected the typical sermon one normally hears on Mother's Day, and yes, the pastor spoke about mothers. But what I did not expect was that the Lord would speak to me directly through that sermon.

My son is leaving home in four weeks to live in Virginia; and I've been going through a difficult time questioning some things about how I've done my job as a mother, especially during the crisis times of my son's life. I shared my heart with only a couple of people, and even they didn't know the full burden I was bearing. But the Lord knew.

During the sermon, the pastor made a comment that pierced the secret place of my heart. I looked up at him with tears burning my eyes. Internally, I asked, "Lord, is that for me? Can I believe that?"

About ten or fifteen minutes later, the pastor made the comment again. He hesitated, then said, "I don't know why I'm saying this again, but it's on my heart." The tears fell from my eyes this time. The Lord must be speaking to me. It must be for me.

Towards the end of the sermon, the pastor made the comment yet again, saying, "This must be for someone here, as I keep feeling the need to say it." I knew then for sure that it was for me.

I drove 840 miles from home, attended a church I had never been to before, and there I received a word of comfort and encouragement for something that most people didn't even know I was going through. The Lord knew right where I was going to be, and He was waiting for me.

In Genesis 16, we read about Hagar becoming pregnant with Abram's child. (His name had not yet been changed to Abraham.) She became haughty and began to flaunt her new status of wife and soon-to-be-mother in Sarai's face. After discussing it with her husband, Sarai began to remind Hagar of her continued status as her servant. Hagar no longer viewed herself as Sarai's servant; afterall, she had been given to the master of the house as a wife and was carrying his child. So she felt that Sarai's treatment of her as just a handmaid was now unbearable, and she fled from the household.

While resting at the well which was on the road to Egypt, her home land, Hagar was visited by an angel of the Lord. He asked her from whence she came and where she was going. Not that he didn't know the answer. He wanted Hagar to consider well her actions, hoping she would reconsider her decision and return to Sarai on her own. When she continued to justify her actions, the angel gave the word of the Lord to her -- to return to Sarai and submit to her as her servant, and to name the son that she would bear, Ishmael. He also gave her the promises concerning her son.

Hagar did not ask the Lord for help (at least, not on this trip away from Sarai). She didn't ask for a word from Him either. She was miles from home, alone, and in a place on the edge of a barren wilderness. No one even knew where she was. But God did. And He knew she needed a word of encouragement and direction for her life. He was waiting for her at that well. And when she arrived, his angel manifested himself to her with the word of the Lord.

When I read that passage this week, I was reminded of my visit to Illinois. I didn't ask the Lord to speak to me either, but He knew I needed a word of encouragement, too. Just like He knew where Hagar was, all those miles from home, He knew where I was; and He was waiting for me, too. He truly is no respecter of persons.

So be encouraged this week. No matter what you're going through. No matter where you are. Even if you don't know how to ask God for help, just remember that He knows exactly where you are and where you'll be. And He'll be waiting for you....with exactly what you need.

Where did the time go??

Oh, my goodness, everyone! Where did the time go since my last post? I apologize for letting so much time go by without sharing anything with you. It's been a crazy few weeks for us, for sure. Passover came and went, then we took turns sharing sickness around the household (ugh), then we went out of town...next thing I know, several weeks have passed.

Well, please hang in there, and stay tuned. I will have something meaty for you later this week.

And I will try to share something with you at least once a week from here on.

God bless you, and have a blessed week.

Passover Preparation: Inside and Out

It's officially spring time, and here in the South the trees are budding, azaleas are blooming, and pollen is painting every surface that stands still for longer than five minutes. It also means a major holiday is around the corner.

Passover begins two weeks from tomorrow, at sundown April 8. It's probably safe to say that most of you aren't counting down the days to this holiday. But I am. Yet, unlike children eagerly tracking the passing days until Christmas when Santa Claus arrives with gifts, this working mom is hearing the loud ticking of a large life-cycle clock whose chime reminds me that I have x number of days remaining -- to get my entire home cleaned and kosher for Passover. Think of it as spring cleaning on a deadline.

So why is this such a monumental task in my mind? The world is full of women (or even some men, in this 21st century) who accomplish the annual cleaning of their house or apartment from top to bottom. Some women, like my mother, actually cherish this ritual. Unfortunately, I was never one of them. (Picture my Italian mother waving her hands in the air, moaning, "Where did I go wrong?")

For me, housework has always been a chore, pure and simple. Adding the annual duties of scrubbing walls and windows, scouring (kashering, for those in the know) all kitchen appliances, and moving furniture to get every last crumb vacuumed up can be overwhelming to this busy woman! But I take a deep breath, pull on the rubber gloves, and get to the task because Scripture commands it to be done.

In preparation for the first Passover, the Lord told Moses to instruct the Israelites not only to eat unleavened bread, but also to remove all leaven (yeast or leavening agents like baking powder) from their homes. "Seven days shall there be no leaven found in your houses; for whosoever eateth that which is leavened, even that soul shall be cut off from the congregation of Israel, whether he be a stranger, or born in the land" (Exodus 12:19). He spoke to Moses a second time and said, "Unleavened bread shall be eaten seven days; and there shall no leavened bread be seen with thee, neither shall there be leaven seen with thee in all thy quarters" (Exodus 13:7).

One may think that ridding a home of leaven would be an easy task. It isn't. Sure, the first things to go are the bread, biscuits, bagels, cookies, etc. No brainer, right? But do you realize how many of our modern day food products contain yeast? Every year I review the ingredient label of every packaged food product in my home, checking for yeast or baking powder. One year, I discovered that packaged onion soup contains autolyzed yeast. Hmm... And, here's a shocker -- there's yeast in some brands of frozen french fries. Who would've thought? Over the years, I've discovered that yeast sure hides in some pretty surprising places.

Which got me to thinking. The apostle Paul used Passover as an analogy and compared leaven with sin. In I Corinthians 5:7-8, he said, "Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Messiah our Passover is sacrified for us. Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, neither with the leaven of malice or wickedness; but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth." And just like natural leaven or yeast which can be hidden in surprising foods, sin can hide in some pretty surprising places in our hearts. No wonder King David prayed to the Lord, "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalms 139:23-24). For there is no one that can reveal our hearts the way the Lord can.

A few years ago, while I was doing my pre-Passover cleaning, I was pulling cushions off the couch in order to vacuum under them. I remember wondering how all those crumbs could possibly fall between the cushions like that. I thought the same about crumbs behind the furniture and in other odd places. So much work to remove such tiny pieces of bread or cake or cookies. Which got me thinking about the leaven/sin connection again. Some sins can seem so tiny, like careless words or prideful thoughts that embed themselves within the comfort of our lives. But no matter how tiny they are, they still contain leaven and must be removed. And usually, it's what we consider the tiny sins -- those hidden from view and unknown to guests -- that take the longest to remove because they are such a part of our daily living.

I'm in my 40's now, and I still dislike many of the chores that are part of spring cleaning. But over the years the Lord has taught me many things while doing it. He's helped me to see the bigger picture -- beyond the bleach and boiling water, beyond the vacuum cleaner and removal of food items. I've come to realize that making my home kosher for Passover is really a spiritual act. With every task I perform to remove leaven from my home, I am to examine my life and heart and compare it to the standard of God's word. Am I truly living as the unleavened bread Messiah calls us to be? When I break that matzah (unleavened bread) at the Passover seder and taste that which represents His broken body (ref: Luke 22:19), can I truly say that I am broken before Him? By the power of His Spirit, I know He can help me to answer yes.

Now, as the life-cycle clock once again starts ticking off the days and hours to Passover, I know that it is my time to reflect, as well as to clean, and to remove all leaven from my heart as well as my home. So, the rubber gloves are coming out, the furniture is being moved, and corners of my home -- and my heart -- are being searched. I'm preparing for Passover, inside and out.

God Loves You

Okay, be honest. Did you look at my title, think about all you're going through, and say, "Yeah, right"? Or have you heard this saying so much that it's become just a cliche to you? Then let me share some things with you that may help you see this phrase in a new light -- as something personal and filled with the depth of God's love, for YOU.

Most of us have been told that God loves us. We read it in the Bible. Many still sing the song, "Jesus loves me, this I know." But does it mean anything personally? Do you FEEL His love for you? Do you understand why He loves you?

Lately, the Lord has been giving me deeper revelation of His love for me. Not just a general love, like the song, "Jesus loves the little children of the world." But a personal love, for me, as His personal creation. What helped me understand that was the Creation account in Genesis.

Because of the research I've been doing for my novel, I've been spending a great deal of time in Genesis, studying verses word by word. It took me weeks to get through the first two chapters! But what I learned during that time was deeper than just the information I needed for my book.

Go get your Bible and reread Genesis chapters 1 and 2. Pay attention to the things God says and does. Do you notice something different about His creation of the heavens and earth, seas and land, plants and animals and birds, and His creation of man?

Each day of creation, the Lord spoke, "Let there be...." and the Bible says it was so. But for the creation of man, the Bible says He spoke, "Let us make man in our image...", but it does not follow with the words, "...and it was so." God was not satisfied to just speak man into existence. Man is the only creation formed by the very hands of God Himself.

Genesis 2:7 says, "And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul." Our Lord, the one who would later come to earth in the flesh, created man with His own hands.

Can you picture it? Yeshua (Jesus) kneeling in the dirt, mists of water springing up from the ground (ref: Genesis 2:6), forming mud. Like a potter kneading clay on his wheel, Yeshua swirls His hands in the moistened earth. Then He begins to sculpt from the earth a human form, made in His likeness. Love pours from His heart as He works. Awestruck angels watch in silence as tears flow down Yeshua's cheeks, mixing with the earth as He strokes detail into the man's form. And when He is satisfied, He leans over the man; and with His kiss, the Spirit of the Lord enters into the man. Adam is now a living soul, a speaking spirit, a perfect reflection of the God who created him.

And for you ladies, be assured that He created Eve with His own hands, too. After putting Adam to sleep, He removed a piece of his side and formed Eve, in all her beauty and glory. She was so beautiful and such a reflection of Adam, that when he saw her, he cried out, "This is surely bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" (Genesis 2:23). And he loved her.

Nothing else in all of creation is made in the image of God. Nothing else was created with His own hands. Just Adam and Eve. And you.

Ephesians 2:10 says that we are His workmanship. And in Psalms 139:15-17 it says, "My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them!"

You are just as much His special creation as Adam and Eve were. He did not form you from the dust of the earth as He did Adam or from the side of a man as He did Eve, but He did knit you secretly in your mother's womb. He breathed His Spirit into you and created you in His image. His love for you is just as great as His love for Adam and Eve was. And if that's the case, then He has not forgotten you or turned His face from what you are going through.

What is going on in your life right now? Have you lost your job? Do you lay awake at night, trying to figure out how your income can cover your outgo? Is the mortgage company threatening foreclosure or the rental agent posting an eviction notice on your door? Are you reeling in shock because you discovered drugs in your child's room and learned he is using and dealing? Do you have to gird yourself on weekends to visit your child in jail? Are you bearing the heart wrenching sting of betrayal from an unfaithful spouse? Are you suffering the intense pain of sickness or disease? Are you lonely and on the edge of despair, weeping over the loss of a loved one? Or maybe you are living through the hell of several of these agonies at the same time, as bad news, like the messengers of Job, has billowed over you in waves.

I understand. I'm living through my own personal trials right now. But this I know, and this I will declare: "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him" (Job 13:15a) because nothing can separate us from the love of Messiah Yeshua (Christ Jesus). Not tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or peril or sword; not death or life or angels or principalities or powers or things present or things to come; not height or depth or any other creature. (Ref: Romans 8:35,38-39) There is NOTHING that can diminish His love for you! Your present circumstance is not permanent, but His love for you is.

No matter what your life looks like right now, keep your eyes on Messiah Yeshua. Allow the Holy Spirit to be your Comforter. Trust the Lord, for He says, "I know the thoughts that I think toward you, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end" (Jeremiah 29:11).

If He loved you so much that He took the time to create you with His own hands, will He not also look after you and provide you with all that you need? So "seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33). Spend time with Him, allow yourself to feel His presence, meditate on the depth of His love.

Like Paul, I pray that you will "comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Messiah, which passeth all knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God" (Ephesians 3:18).

So, if the proverbial doorbell rings and one of those bearers of bad tidings is standing there, just be at peace and remember -- God loves you!

Purpose of My Blog

Hello, everyone. This is my first attempt at blogging, and I'm pretty excited about it. Imagine -- what I write can be read by millions of people around the world! Boy, have we come a long way from manual typewriters and erasable onion-skin paper. (Am I showing my age?)

Back in 1986, a prophetic teacher prophesied that my writing would go around the world. I had always known I was called to be a writer, but at the time, I couldn't wrap my mind around what he said. Now look how far we've come -- it's 2009, and the second I hit the post button, my writing will be available for the world!

So, what do I want to tell the world? If I dwell on it too much, I could get a keyboard version of world stagefright! Just kidding. I actually have the opposite problem. My hiliarious father used to call it diarrhea of the pen. Yes, I was the geeky kid in high school English classes that whooped it up when a term paper was assigned. And now I can write for the world. Wow.

The purpose of my blog is to share my heart for Yeshua (Jesus) and His Kingdom -- what I know about Him, what I've learned in the Torah/Bible, who the Holy Spirit is to me, and other Kingdom things (like healings and miracles, drinking the New Wine, prophecies and dreams, etc.). I may also give you sneak previews of what I'm writing in my novel or share a short story or two with you.

I want to involve you, too. Do you have questions? Contact me. If I get several people asking the same question, I may write a blog entry to address it. Do you have a comment on something I've written? Let me know. If something I've written has blessed you in some way, share it with me and my other readers by posting a comment. And finally, if you like what you see here, invite YOUR friends and family to this site.

Y'know, the Bible said that in the last days the whole earth would be full of His glory. I pray my blog's little piece of the internet will be used by the Lord to help fulfill that prophecy.